A Universe expressed through a Window of Experience

Posts tagged “dreams

Angel in a Blue Dress

No name

Curvy in all of her femininity

Face was a smooth-skinned, coffee-hued canvas

That was painted with Two-Lips that Blossomed full

No lipstick, no make-up, she was organic

Her cat-like eyes fashioned a hazel tone

They sang a song that stole me into a trance

Her gorgeously blue dress danced to the rhythm of her mean walk

It hugged her like a long lost relative

Revealing the outline of her Victoria Secrets

Booty like a Chocolate Peach

Arched into a small waist, abs engraved

Slim torso that seated her medium-sized breasts

She was 5 feet 2 inches of goodness, 135 pounds of gorgeous

And an immeasurable amount of mystery

Artistically designed with symmetrical harmony throughout

Aroused me to the point of my eyes bulging as much as my jeans

I could hear the libido of this lioness growling

Enchanting me with an armor-penetrating stare

Our gravity was intense

We were swallowed in an unspoken dialogue of audible lust

A delicious grin was hibernated on her chin

My curiosity developed an enormous appetite

Grumbling…” How would her skin feel against mine?”

“How does she sound when aroused, and how loud?”

“How tight is it? How warm is she?”

“I wonder if she loves to cuddle”

Thirsty for answers, I chuckle

The silence was so fragile

It was broken with a soft “mnnn” when she slowly approached me

And openly complimented my Black Halo

Bashful, was I, fueled with glee

Requested my name, and I gave

Requested for hers, she replied “Angel…”

Angel in a blue dress…knowing that you’re fly

Modesty filled her face

Damn! I just wanted to cuff her waist

And run my lips into hers like a Linebacker’s Tackle

Passionately….slowly

Whoa! My imagination slowed down, and reality caught up

Still, we thrust seductive gazes into each other’s eyes

Asked if I was single – “yes”

Boomeranged the same question – “indeed, I am”

She was atypical; pocketing a distinct sass appeal

….but there was a blend of serenity in her aura

“Well, look, I don’t wanna waste any more time”

“I wanna get to know you….I feel like we’ve met before, you know what I mean?”

I concur with a head nod

“So, I think it would be appropriate if we meet this evening”

Reached for the phone, surrendered my digits, and captured hers

Supplied a sly glance in between numbers

“Call me around 8”

“Ok”

Eyes said the longest good-bye that I’ve never heard

Heaven-sent and Earth-guided, she walked away

But she saved the last glance for when she reached the exit

Flashed an alluring grin, and became eclipsed by the walls and the passersby

And I sigh, smiling…shaking my head

A gift of love…from another place in time

Will always travel far to find….us


ShakesFear: To have or not to have

Want: absence or deficiency of something desirable or requisite; lack: plants dying for want of rain.
“I want you” to be without or be deficient in: to want judgment; to want knowledge.

….to disconnect

Choose:
to select from a number of possibilities; pick by preference: She chose Sunday for her departure.
to prefer or decide (to do something): He chose to run for election.

Also interpreted as: to guide one’s will to an object of conscience

….to connect

Have: to get, receive, or take: to have a part in a play; to have news.

….to become

Now although the context in which these words exists are not in the highest definition, but can be understood as nouns or a verbs. Why is this relevant? A noun exists because of a verb. A choice is the result of an action. A thing is the result of kinect energy. But ultimately, it all burns down to the residual question of “what statement are you making?”

When you choose something, you are summoning your intention/will and directing it towards an object. Your will is who you are; where you guide it is what you will become. It is the energy that reaches, attaches, and returns. It is life. Yet, to want something is to make a statement of lack; which means you are not choosing to have, you are choosing not to have.

“Mom, I want this bike”
“Ok….”
“So, why aren’t you getting it?”
“Because I don’t have the funds to give you this bike. I’m not going to ask anyone for the money nor am I going to steal it”
“But I want it!!”
“I heard you the first time; you know…..you have the power to change it though. Instead of wanting it, choose to have it”
“I….um….don’t understand ”
“To want means to desire. You feel sad because you don’t have this bike. Your happiness depends on you having this bike. Yet, you’re not making choices that lead to you having the bike, dear. You’re just pawning your desires off me, when now, you are capable of having this bike just by choosing”
“I think I understand….but, how do I do that? How can I make this mine?”
“To make it yours temporarily (because nothing lasts forever) think of a way to make some money. Don’t steal and don’t cheat, though. That’s bad character; very unhealthy. Earn the money by giving a service for it. Compromise. Bargain. Then, when you have enough, exchange it for the bike”
“Ugh! That’s too much work!!”
“Well, you can choose to want the bike or choose to have the bike. Just remember, it’s your choice”
“Awwww….humph! (Folds arms)”

2 months later, he bought the bike. He cut lawns, helped kids with homework, sold some of his toys, games, and shoes (using Craigslist too), and exchanged recyclables for money. The boy was 9. Something so fundamental, right? Yet it gets overlooked in adulthood because its demoted in childhood. So the lack in childhood is carried into adulthood. The things we want the most are distant from us…because we push them away. We make louder, more boisterous declarations of our lack. “I can’t have it!!!” while contrarily, we pray for it silently to return. So we feel as if God, life, karma, or even the devil is taunting us. Envy can be healthy if harnessed properly. Jealousy can be destructive if abandoned to live freely. Irresponsibility festers in these conditions, which furthers our insecurities and demotes our self-esteem. And this demotion also affects our relationships. Sweet illusions, they become. Cake layer after cake layer we conceal the sponsor of our behavior. We deny ourselves the kingdom of God by discrediting our innate ability to manifest our desires; or even using them with malicious intent. We even jump the distance in allowing other people to affirm our lack. They say no, therefore, amen, ase, so be it all. What’s increasingly destructive is our ignorance to these faint signs. This ignorance may motivate maladaptive behavior that potentially tarnishes relationships with people and other objects of desire.

Imagine if that bike were a woman, and the boy were a man. Extract the sexual reference, and imagine the cost he has to pay to summon that woman into his life. The courage. The drive. The intelligence. The research. The labor. He may not have enough; but he’s intent on discovering the truth rather than visualizing and wanting. And then in all of his efforts, she tells him no. He doesn’t have what she is looking for, and feels apathetic to inform him on the reasons why she’s unattainable. This nourishes his ambition even further – he must have her! She has yet to satisfy his curiosity and his hunger for accomplishment. He keeps trying. And the woman perceives him as obnoxious and bull-headed. Yet, he exhibits a trait that most people struggle with – ambition. She is looking for a man with this trait, but because of his appearance, she doesn’t see it. She is alluded to unrealistic expectations. She hasn’t seen ambition like his before, and yet she wants a handsome man to carry it. Yet, she has done little to nothing in summoning these specifications in her life…..well she’s prayed….just wasn’t more specific and intent. Her character reeks of ridicule, and she suffocates him with it out of disgust and laziness to explain why he is unqualified to make her happy. So, their relationship is destined to be volatile if they aren’t aware of each other’s intentions. This poison may affect their decision-making (responsibility) for the rest of their days. How she says no may help him refine his desires. And how he looks in relation to his character may help her do the same. She would realize that ambition is indiscriminate to physical appearance, but she would feel its presence through action.

We all can help each other…..we just need to be open to investigate. And like many others, I’m often too learned to learn; cradling the Kanye West mindset that “you can’t tell me nothing“. But if we are not living, we are not learning, and if we are not learning, then we are dying.

I have felt the gravity of want for many lifetimes, and it arouses a lot of suffering. But, in recognition of my wants, I choose to have; and when I choose to be a have-not, it is absent of want. Hence, I reach a state of contentment. I used to frown on ambition, and now I understand that moderation applies to this principle. So for those out there who want….choosing to have begins with searching for a path (plan) that guides you to have; or rather….become. But always remember that what we become is temporary. There is much more to explore. I’ve encountered a few people these past few weeks who are unhappy. When asked “well what do you want?”….they don’t know. Identifying the want would help them to choose whether to keep wanting, choose to have, or choose to have not. The power of manifestation is within you. Call it and it shall be yours….if you can afford it.


Saturday Morning

You always retain a shard of your child-like essence when you continue to dream…..whether practically or wildly. I heard this instrumental, and what came to my mind was “Saturday Morning”. So I imagined a Saturday Morning from another life that I lived. Whether labeled past or future, it happened in my mind, therefore, it exists. Aside from this playful dream venture, when I look at this video….it reminds me of a motherboard in a machine. I see correlation of the towers. I see correlation of information moving at the speed of light. The digital world is materializing as we complete our orbits around the sun. It fits that I think about the future of civilization as I dream of happiness that lives with it.

My eyes open, sunshine peeking through blinds

Like it wants to say “Hi”, I take a deep sigh

It’s 7:25 and I’m laying beside

A Light Skinned Honey, left thigh over mine

No panties, no bra, big ass, Slow Hands

Moving like a Slow Jam

Woke her up, gotta quickie

Plus a few more hickies…15 …Minutes in the shower

Walked by her, gave a fresh squeeze on her left cheek

Like the orange juice that was fresh squeezed in the next hour

French toast with a bowl of fruit, SpongeBob on the flat screen

And then junior walked in looking half-sleep

….”Rise divine, Young Jedi”, said I

As he was wiping his left eye

Beautify the castle, beginning with the yard, first

Teach my son the definition of hard work

It’s Yoga Fire how we’re Burning off calories

Watering the garden, I mean, the Food Gallery

….Neighbor gave a head nod

Runners pass by the front lawn

Which is getting Cut like a BodyBuilder, sure enough

Worked it out, finished up

My seed started Sh!t-talking on the sly

Started Whooping his ass ….on Marvel vs. Capcom 5

Laughter in our chemistry

Haters off the radar, Miss me with the misery

Mrs. Skywalker and my mini-me

Cuttin’ the Wind in my brand new Infiniti

High off the Imagery, Greeted by the Ocean, so many Waves

Lampin’ in the shade

Toes in the sand, Ice Cubes in my Lemonade

Hey! I gotta say..Today was a Good Day


The One That Got Away

the-one-that-got-away_american-apparel-unisex-fitted-tee_silver_w760h760

Ok babe, I’m headed out the door

She planted a loose kiss on my cheek

And a dry “I love you” jutted from her lips

Smooth Criminal, she was; and I almost let her get away with it too

Whoa! Hold up…say, it again”

Huh? ….Say what?

Tell me you love me…..slower

She fashioned a frustrated lip curl as tension melted into her eyebrows

I smile….”I’m listening

Vigorously, she unloads “I….love…..youuuuuu, Jooooooohn

No, no, no….you gotta come closer and say it

John! What are you doing?! I have to go!

I walked to her

Reaching to possess her hips, which were cloaked in her baby blue dress

Mmmnnnn…I love it when she wears dresses

Especially when there’s a thong buried innocently beneath

I massage my way into cupping her ass

Flashing assured eyes, and a confident smirk

Say it….again….

Her eyes blazed wider as she felt the spark of inspiration

…..She feels the hint of sex in the air

Low-toned and blasé, she chuckles “I love you

My hands were the silkiest electric currents surging through back

As I sunk my face closer into hers

We paused…..our eyes stole each other

And as my lips reached in for a comforting hug

Air bolted from her nose as if there were fire within

mmmnnnn….” Kiss*….kiss* “mmnnnnn….Joooooohn”, she muffled

My palms glide up her dress

Silky smooth thighs that pay tribute to her robust apple bottom

I revolved her with snap-action force

Pitching her dress to rest on her lower back

mmnnnn……babe….we…..mmmn….hurry up and put it in

I reach in, and joust out my pulsating shaft with one hand

While pulling her emerald thong over to the right with the other

The tip of my pink helmet began to wiggle between the rims of her pussy

It felt as if she were sucking it in…sluggishly… forcefully…

Her rosy tunnel clinched on…caving in as I lunge through

Her knees unbuckled into a slender tremor

Our pace: slow and steady

Each stroke was sponsored with increasing intensity

I was swelling up inside her….

Ugh! She was sooooo wet…..

I dip all the way in, and yank all the way out

Her silk-like, shadowy hair draped to the left side of her face

As her neck sagged into submission to the deep, animated rhythm

In which our bodies rocked

Sweat beads decorated my face, and her upper back

John……ooooohugghh….John……John……John

I……ah……ahhhh……la……laaaooove…..

(buzzing alarm)

My eyes open…..deep breath

I laid in the bed on my stomach…frozen-still

Recollecting fragments of the dream

Interpreting the events that preceded it

And then my face crawls into my palms as I shake my head thinking

Damn….the one that got away….sighs…I never told her how I felt

Could she have been….the one?”

My imagination churns in my mind with what-ifs

….like a glass of wine as it’s swirled

Is it so childish to imagine what life would be like if I was the inspiration

That moved her….to say…. “I love you, John”? I wrote her today

…and told her how I felt, careless of what the consequence was

It’s amazing how we can find happiness in being reckless and daring


Bread Crumbs

I’ve asked my facebook friends a very intense and incisive question on numerous occasions. How do you know when you’re going in the direction that leads to self actualization and self transcendence? How do you know that you are going where your soul truly desires to go? How do you know that you are walking the path that God created especially for you? From my childhood years till midway in my adulthood, I’ve always heard that God has a plan for us all. So how do you know when you’ve completed a portion of the plan? In a world of subjectivism, there is no right and wrong way to exist – only what truly works.

I’ve hardly ever received any responses. It makes me wonder if some people are faking their intimate relationship with God. It doesn’t matter – one day it’ll make sense.

For me, I feel as if I’m always in a state of recalling. And that my path has a trail of bread crumbs before me…….. and after me. I feel as if I’m trying to remember who I am, and I’ve written songs about me rediscovering the truth of myself by living it. Funny enough, the songs turn out to be bread crumbs themselves; reminding me that I was going to rediscover the part of me that I’ve forgotten.

So, there’s this song called “Remind Me” by Royksopp. If you’re not familiar with the song or the group, allow me to remind you. In 2006, Geico sponsored a slogan that was borderline insulting due to its hyperbolic presence: “So easy, that a caveman can do it”. There was one in particular that really caught my eye…er….ear. This was the one where the caveman was walking in the airport, and…you know what? Just watch the clip (shuts off lights)

Now I’ll admit, I laughed, despite the dysphemism. But, what really inspired me was the song! I’d always look for this commercial on TV because I was infatuated with that song. Then one day, I decided to use my CSI kit to track down this song.

…And ever since then, it’s been trapped in my iTouch.

I thank Geico for being creative enough to match this song with their vaguely insulting commercial. The true wonder of this communion is the part of the song that was exhibited in the commercial.

and
everywhere I go
there’s always something to remind me

of another place and time
where love that travelled far had found me

This revelation spoke to me in soooo many ways! It’s representative of what I go through in life: déjà vu. When I heard this
song, it felt like a memory; it felt like “we’ve met before”. I felt that the words expressed, so simply, what I lacked in understanding about myself. It was one of those “I once was lost, but now I see” type of experiences. I burst in elation when I hear this song because before and after that song, I’ve lived the truth of those words. And I normally feel insecure about allowing people see me behave in the context of these occurrences because I don’t like being looked at as if I’m unstable. Which truthfully, in that moment, I am (laughs). But, I mean, unstable in the eyes of a judge. As much as I desire people to feel what I feel in that instant, I also recognize that the feeling is reserved especially for me.

So yea, everywhere I go, there is ALWAYS something that reminds me of another place and time where love that travelled far…had found me. Yet these places are not places I’ve been to in the past; no, no, no, they’re adventitious (meaning: extrinsic, another location). It brings me to tears sometimes when I think about this. But when I experience it, I feel this internal explosion of joy; I feel this surge of high vibration energy – a climatic build similar to an eruptive geyser. It feels as if everything within me lit up! – That “aha” feeling. And then behold; this big bang of revolutionary truth provides me with this affirmative ambiance that makes me feel confident, competent, and complete. The experience emotes this bold statement without uttering any words: you’re supposed to be here.

Sometimes, I come across certain smells or sounds and my mind flashes a glimpse of another place with a different set of circumstances (inclusive of time). The same thing happens when I see certain architectures, people, images, places and objects. Yet as I’m receiving the immediate image, a subtle image is projected in front of it. And what’s eerie is the sensation of familiarity.
My intuition assumes control for an instant, and presents me with a sense of knowing. I try to observe leniently so that I don’t tarnish the information because these subtle revelations are like whispers; they require delicate yet swift attention because they’re gone almost instantly as they’ve arrived.

And then, there’s lucid dreaming; and mine has become more vivid and more impressionable on my life; especially since my change in diet. Have you ever remembered a dream that occurred when you were a child, and then you’ve experienced that same dream as an adult? Or maybe, you’ve had a dream when you were a child, and you suddenly realized that you are reliving the dream? I’ve looked into dream psychology – a book written by Sigmund Freud. The nature of dreams are very complex, and deciphering their meanings require that you record as much information as possible because the “dream work” disguises the true meaning and the origin of the ideas. Sometimes, it can be something physiological. So, of course, our brains will produce an experience that’s similar to the physiological work. You may have a dream about a giant bee stinging your butt – not realizing that as you are sleep, your mind is trying to tell you that your butt is itching! Sometimes dreams can be based on strong desires from the previous day. A person can serve as an object of desire. Ever wanted to approach someone so bad that you had a dream that you actually approached them?! Your mind decided to live out the desire mentally so that you can feel satisfied. Sometimes, dreams can be influenced from external sources: the TV – as you’re dreaming, a book that was read prior to your dream, an argument or a party from next door, a dog barking, or even a loved one who’s intensely thinking  about you. And some dreams are a result of something futuristic. I remember living out quite a few dreams (since I’ve been in Kuwait even) that occurred months before I lived them. And then finally, some dreams go as deep as our ancestral roots. Again, we are the product of billions of years of evolution; our genes hold information inclusive our four-legged relatives; cold and warm blooded.

I’m quite sure you’ve experienced all types of dreams within the circumstances I’ve mentioned; whether you’re aware or not. But I also understand that some people are too busy to meditate on their dreams – to recall information that’s vital to their evolution….let alone…..their survival. (shrugs)

Anyway, I went to Bahrain this weekend. I definitely stepped outside my element for that trip. I drank. I screamed. I smiled. I partied. I danced….with a couple of women. I took one of them to my 2-bedroom, 1-kitchen, 3-bath, 1-living room hotel to spend the night. I watched TV. I spent loads of money – with a pinch of guilt. I mean, for 4 days and 3 nights, I basked in the ambiance of recklessness, escaped from my cotton padded, steel box of inhibition, and I became a bit more vulnerable to the forces of bad habits. I did things that I rarely ever do; not because I felt deserving – just because. I became someone else, and I had fun becoming that person. (chuckles) I’m suffering the consequences at the moment (sick). And through it all, it felt as if I did it all before….in that place….at a another time….meeting these very same people. It felt like a rerun. I basically celebrated my life. I held this confidence in my mind, and displayed it the form of a few smiles, because I had this intuitive sense of “knowing” that my life was going to get better…..with more challenges.

My first challenge: healing. My first new sense of success: I got promoted to Section Supervisor!

And it feels all so familiar. Have you ever felt like you knew what was going to happen before it happened? What do you do when God offers you a vision? And how do you know if it’s God…or if it’s preprogramming from your ego?

Just because you’re shown the truth, doesn’t obligate you to believe. You always have a choice.