ShakesFear: To have or not to have
Want: absence or deficiency of something desirable or requisite; lack: plants dying for want of rain.
“I want you” to be without or be deficient in: to want judgment; to want knowledge.
to select from a number of possibilities; pick by preference: She chose Sunday for her departure.
to prefer or decide (to do something): He chose to run for election.
Also interpreted as: to guide one’s will to an object of conscience
Have: to get, receive, or take: to have a part in a play; to have news.
Now although the context in which these words exists are not in the highest definition, but can be understood as nouns or a verbs. Why is this relevant? A noun exists because of a verb. A choice is the result of an action. A thing is the result of kinect energy. But ultimately, it all burns down to the residual question of “what statement are you making?”
When you choose something, you are summoning your intention/will and directing it towards an object. Your will is who you are; where you guide it is what you will become. It is the energy that reaches, attaches, and returns. It is life. Yet, to want something is to make a statement of lack; which means you are not choosing to have, you are choosing not to have.
“Mom, I want this bike”
“So, why aren’t you getting it?”
“Because I don’t have the funds to give you this bike. I’m not going to ask anyone for the money nor am I going to steal it”
“But I want it!!”
“I heard you the first time; you know…..you have the power to change it though. Instead of wanting it, choose to have it”
“I….um….don’t understand ”
“To want means to desire. You feel sad because you don’t have this bike. Your happiness depends on you having this bike. Yet, you’re not making choices that lead to you having the bike, dear. You’re just pawning your desires off me, when now, you are capable of having this bike just by choosing”
“I think I understand….but, how do I do that? How can I make this mine?”
“To make it yours temporarily (because nothing lasts forever) think of a way to make some money. Don’t steal and don’t cheat, though. That’s bad character; very unhealthy. Earn the money by giving a service for it. Compromise. Bargain. Then, when you have enough, exchange it for the bike”
“Ugh! That’s too much work!!”
“Well, you can choose to want the bike or choose to have the bike. Just remember, it’s your choice”
“Awwww….humph! (Folds arms)”
2 months later, he bought the bike. He cut lawns, helped kids with homework, sold some of his toys, games, and shoes (using Craigslist too), and exchanged recyclables for money. The boy was 9. Something so fundamental, right? Yet it gets overlooked in adulthood because its demoted in childhood. So the lack in childhood is carried into adulthood. The things we want the most are distant from us…because we push them away. We make louder, more boisterous declarations of our lack. “I can’t have it!!!” while contrarily, we pray for it silently to return. So we feel as if God, life, karma, or even the devil is taunting us. Envy can be healthy if harnessed properly. Jealousy can be destructive if abandoned to live freely. Irresponsibility festers in these conditions, which furthers our insecurities and demotes our self-esteem. And this demotion also affects our relationships. Sweet illusions, they become. Cake layer after cake layer we conceal the sponsor of our behavior. We deny ourselves the kingdom of God by discrediting our innate ability to manifest our desires; or even using them with malicious intent. We even jump the distance in allowing other people to affirm our lack. They say no, therefore, amen, ase, so be it all. What’s increasingly destructive is our ignorance to these faint signs. This ignorance may motivate maladaptive behavior that potentially tarnishes relationships with people and other objects of desire.
Imagine if that bike were a woman, and the boy were a man. Extract the sexual reference, and imagine the cost he has to pay to summon that woman into his life. The courage. The drive. The intelligence. The research. The labor. He may not have enough; but he’s intent on discovering the truth rather than visualizing and wanting. And then in all of his efforts, she tells him no. He doesn’t have what she is looking for, and feels apathetic to inform him on the reasons why she’s unattainable. This nourishes his ambition even further – he must have her! She has yet to satisfy his curiosity and his hunger for accomplishment. He keeps trying. And the woman perceives him as obnoxious and bull-headed. Yet, he exhibits a trait that most people struggle with – ambition. She is looking for a man with this trait, but because of his appearance, she doesn’t see it. She is alluded to unrealistic expectations. She hasn’t seen ambition like his before, and yet she wants a handsome man to carry it. Yet, she has done little to nothing in summoning these specifications in her life…..well she’s prayed….just wasn’t more specific and intent. Her character reeks of ridicule, and she suffocates him with it out of disgust and laziness to explain why he is unqualified to make her happy. So, their relationship is destined to be volatile if they aren’t aware of each other’s intentions. This poison may affect their decision-making (responsibility) for the rest of their days. How she says no may help him refine his desires. And how he looks in relation to his character may help her do the same. She would realize that ambition is indiscriminate to physical appearance, but she would feel its presence through action.
We all can help each other…..we just need to be open to investigate. And like many others, I’m often too learned to learn; cradling the Kanye West mindset that “you can’t tell me nothing“. But if we are not living, we are not learning, and if we are not learning, then we are dying.
I have felt the gravity of want for many lifetimes, and it arouses a lot of suffering. But, in recognition of my wants, I choose to have; and when I choose to be a have-not, it is absent of want. Hence, I reach a state of contentment. I used to frown on ambition, and now I understand that moderation applies to this principle. So for those out there who want….choosing to have begins with searching for a path (plan) that guides you to have; or rather….become. But always remember that what we become is temporary. There is much more to explore. I’ve encountered a few people these past few weeks who are unhappy. When asked “well what do you want?”….they don’t know. Identifying the want would help them to choose whether to keep wanting, choose to have, or choose to have not. The power of manifestation is within you. Call it and it shall be yours….if you can afford it.