Today, I prayed for my biological father. This is something profound for me because I can’t recall the last time I’ve prayed for him. I stared at his picture….and I prayed for his spiritual health. I prayed that whatever hurt he has within is dissolved, and that he is released from the bondage the separates him from being fully realized. In spite of the video that I watched yesterday on the power of intention, it made sense that I arrive at this destination. I remember when I was afraid to look at my son; and with practice, I familiarized myself with his face. So as my eyes became consumed with the image of my father, I felt a pulse. There was a reach uncurling out of me towards him as if I was a hand opening or a flower blossoming. And it was so sincere that tears pocketed in my eyelids. I didn’t realize how much I cared. Where was this hiding? No….where was I hiding this? No….why was I tossing so much dirt on this sacred emotion?
Thoughts like “he wouldn’t care anyway, so why tell him?” or “what fruit will come out this? It’s not like it’ll fix the past” But then there’s a deeper fear; an unexpected one that sponsors the other thoughts. “Maybe he will care in the best way imaginable”. Afraid of a love that’s long distant, so I erect walls of devaluation, and close myself off. The words: “I love you” is a small vehicle compared to the action that encompasses the energy. My father and I have always concluded our dialogues with “I love you”. And he’s even looked out for me in the past with free plane tickets, so I could vacate home. Heck, he even visited me and my ex-wife when we were in University Place, WA. It was a good reunion. Even his wife has always extended love to me. My interactions with him during my adulthood did not possess the emotional depth as the ones from my childhood…..
……but it’s never too late to mend your relationships….even after death.
At one time, I was asked: how do you wish to see your Sunrise?
And I replied that I wish to see my Sunrise out of the ocean
And after Swimming through the Blue Skies, I wish to see my Sunset in a forest
In the Far East, I wish to see my Sunrise from mountain tops to skyscrapers
Over pyramids, temples, and desert lands
I wish to see my Sunrise out of the illusions of fear
And hover over Piers; not as a sign of arrogance or superiority
But as a sign of hope and joy through ascension
I wish to see my Sunrise no matter what time it is in the world
Peaking out of the thicket of darkness
If I could just see my Sunrise in a way that I couldn’t imagine
I would surely be proud
Yet no matter how I would wish to see my Sunrise
The cosmos, the Cosmic Oneness that we call God
Will assist my Son by creating the perfect environment
So that my Son can be what he was intended to be…
If your curiosity is aroused, I wrote this poem….I asked the question…and I answered it