A Universe expressed through a Window of Experience

Reasonable Doubts

When you make a discovery that co-exists in a [seemingly] paradoxical relationship with what’s popular, there’s a mixture of joy and worry. You’re joyful for a fresh revelation of God’s magnificence. You’re awe-inspired, and almost relieved that there‘s another side of the diamond, which reproves that God is much, much more than the human mind’s conception. You’re even moved to share your discovery! However, you’re worried about how you’ll be received. Will you be received as a mutant or as a savior in the new tint of your recently discovered powers? Or maybe both! By the way, mutations should not be confused with abnormalities. Mutations are vital components to evolution – so please squash that idea, put it in a black box…..and then throw it in your Sea of Sub-consciousness. Ok. So, in the mid-term of your blissful experience of truth, your awareness is raised towards the possible responses of your friends…your family…the society. You conduct a risk assessment of sponsoring this radical manifestation, and you measure your life accordingly. Do you see the possibility of being rejected? How does that make you feel? Do you see the possibility of death? How does that make you feel? Do you see the possibility of losing your perceived identity? How does that make you feel? Everything you’ve become up to this revelation…is questioned. And then, you have to make a choice: deny and run away, or accept and proceed.

Quite the emotional rollercoaster: elation and then worry. So, where do you go from here?

I think about the millennium’s revolutionaries and renaissance men in reference to this phenomenon. Some have survived, many have died, and more are being birthed. They were branded with degenerative names; many labels were inflicted upon them like whiplashes. They were often ridiculed and usually terrorized. They were like free slaves…sort of. I mean, it’s an unstated premise that ideals will have to combat the liquid swords that are swung by the tongues of the skeptics. Yet all it takes is a band of very committed believers (fans) for marketability. I’ll use an obvious example (and I hate to be cliché about this – really!). Jesus wasn’t afraid of death because after much meditation and contemplation, he observed that death is inevitable and elusive. He observed it as an event that signified transcendence of the physical. I don’t believe he was born knowing this; I refuse to believe it, because it strips Jesus (and mankind in general) of the liberty in self discovery. It dishonors the process of evolution. Where’s the demand for growth if he’s already grown? He didn’t say I am the light at age 5! He made this statement later on after searching for it. The aftermath of his search produced the motivation to invite the world to chant I am the light harmoniously alongside him, so that the song sounds like we are the light.

Michael Jackson remixed it with we are the world…but aye (shrugs) gotta start somewhere.

Nature’s tradition exposes a plethora of cultural and spiritual revolutions that were inspired by messengers that we call radicals, which modify social systems. Significantly, the persona of a radical is as reactive as an atomic/ionic radical, which modifies biological systems. And yes, we are a biological system – a symbiotic family. And yes, this radical persona supports an attitude of martyrdom; but as Malcolm X once uttered: “You haven’t got a revolution that doesn’t involve bloodshed. And you’re afraid to bleed. I said, you’re afraid to bleed.” Although I disagree, in a methodical sense, coming from the by any means necessary
activist himself, I understand it, and I respect it. I’m sure he knew that he’d have to live this truth, or be discredited and deemed a hypocrite. I mean, he shares a legacy similar to Socrates, Jesus, JFK, Che Guevara, Joan of Arc, Abraham Lincoln, and numerous others. These were intelligent liberators who dared to challenge the societal norms; they were uncompromising of what they became, what they discovered, and their vision. Throughout their life’s movie, even during the climatic events that emerged suspenseful, they stayed in character! They didn’t lose sight of their role in life; or at least they didn’t give away any direct indicators of uncertainty. For them, who they became was their idea of (chuckles) normal.

These X-Men could’ve escaped their fate, but again, they didn’t fear death; their views of death were defiant. They embraced the offspring of their decisions as a proud father (or mother) accepts their developing children. They could’ve acted out of desperation to survive, and escaped their fate; running away from the results of their radical behavior. But then, everything that they preached, every speech given, all actions committed, each thought conceived to inspire their behavior….everything they had become would’ve been….a lie! Their legacy would’ve been blemished. Their works would exist unfinished for few to truly absorb their essence to propel mankind’s evolutionary journey.

So as I was saying, when you’re presented with a higher truth, you’re also presented with a set of options. Despite your elation, you either deny your fated death, or you accept it. And those who accept it usually realize their immortality before their dramatic demise. This dramatic demise crystallizes their legacy. Is this what I want? Is this what I need?

Is this what we all need?

 What inspired this elaborate post was a self reflective questionnaire of what I was living for. I’m a logistician, and I love my occupation, but it doesn’t excite me. This job serves as a pragmatic means to resource some of my passions – art (including the ancient and mystical arts), love for family and friends, traveling, and philosophy. I’m a few steps away from releasing my Enter: The Third Eye mixtape project. This has been a year-long, co-creative campaign to assemble a collection of messages for the masses to inspire conscious evolution. I’m excited for its release, yet I still feel a bit melancholy and doubtful. In my mind, it’s a revolutionary compilation that expresses many facets of conscious evolution. And I wonder sometimes, do I really have the stamina to do this? Will I proceed courageously? Will I stay in character!? I mean, the revolution is easier conceptualized than actualized. But this is more than just music for me…this is my life. I guess, I just wonder if I’m willing to die for this. To die screaming at the top of my lungs with tears in my eyes…PEACE! THINK! WONDER! LOOOOOVE!!!  

I mean, dying for your loved one’s is something else, but dying for a thought, an idea, or a set of beliefs that’s premature in physical manifestation? (Eyebrow raise) I mean, some people are killed for wearing certain colors and garments, invading a space, or even a facial expression. It’s all circumstantial. But as I stroke these keys, tears of joy stroke my cheeks as I imagine a glorious death. I think of letting go of my worldly identity, my possessions, the people I’m accountable for, my reputation, and my accomplishments. I visualize all of the dreams I’ve had of dying, and I discover a commonality in all of them: that when I realized that my purpose was fulfilled, no matter how much I was hurting (dreams do produce sensory experiences), I just relaxed and allowed the energy and the circumstance to course through. I accepted my inescapable my fate and I stopped struggling with the struggle; I didn’t evade. I became thoughtless of whom I thought I was in those moments; and in exchange, I was presented with a liberating feeling of what it feels like to be….an immortal being, because I still felt alive. I felt like God.

It seems that no matter where we go, the struggle seems to find us. And aybe it’s an evolutionary driver to propel us to our full potential. A wise man once said that there are worse things n life than death. And I believe him. Guess I’ll resume my march.

So what about you? Do you feel like you truly know your calling? Are you answering it or is it on call waiting? Do you feel like a mutant? Is this a weird post? Is there something in your life that makes you excited and orrisome because of its potential for greatness? Do you have an idea/a haracter that you feel will catapult the human race into a more prosperous uture? Something that you believe in so much, yet often, you doubt your capability to be instrumental in co-creating and nourishing this idea? Do you fear for your life in spite of this creation? What are you doing about it? And are embarking on the Biggie Smalls’: Ready
to Die
campaign for what it is you believe in?

And yes ladies (someone’s gonna say it)…children do count. My mom was instrumental in producing me, as W.E.B. Dubois’s mother was instrumental in producing him.

The question always is: to be…or not to be? – William Shakespeare

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