A Universe expressed through a Window of Experience

Bread Crumbs

I’ve asked my facebook friends a very intense and incisive question on numerous occasions. How do you know when you’re going in the direction that leads to self actualization and self transcendence? How do you know that you are going where your soul truly desires to go? How do you know that you are walking the path that God created especially for you? From my childhood years till midway in my adulthood, I’ve always heard that God has a plan for us all. So how do you know when you’ve completed a portion of the plan? In a world of subjectivism, there is no right and wrong way to exist – only what truly works.

I’ve hardly ever received any responses. It makes me wonder if some people are faking their intimate relationship with God. It doesn’t matter – one day it’ll make sense.

For me, I feel as if I’m always in a state of recalling. And that my path has a trail of bread crumbs before me…….. and after me. I feel as if I’m trying to remember who I am, and I’ve written songs about me rediscovering the truth of myself by living it. Funny enough, the songs turn out to be bread crumbs themselves; reminding me that I was going to rediscover the part of me that I’ve forgotten.

So, there’s this song called “Remind Me” by Royksopp. If you’re not familiar with the song or the group, allow me to remind you. In 2006, Geico sponsored a slogan that was borderline insulting due to its hyperbolic presence: “So easy, that a caveman can do it”. There was one in particular that really caught my eye…er….ear. This was the one where the caveman was walking in the airport, and…you know what? Just watch the clip (shuts off lights)

Now I’ll admit, I laughed, despite the dysphemism. But, what really inspired me was the song! I’d always look for this commercial on TV because I was infatuated with that song. Then one day, I decided to use my CSI kit to track down this song.

…And ever since then, it’s been trapped in my iTouch.

I thank Geico for being creative enough to match this song with their vaguely insulting commercial. The true wonder of this communion is the part of the song that was exhibited in the commercial.

everywhere I go
there’s always something to remind me

of another place and time
where love that travelled far had found me

This revelation spoke to me in soooo many ways! It’s representative of what I go through in life: déjà vu. When I heard this
song, it felt like a memory; it felt like “we’ve met before”. I felt that the words expressed, so simply, what I lacked in understanding about myself. It was one of those “I once was lost, but now I see” type of experiences. I burst in elation when I hear this song because before and after that song, I’ve lived the truth of those words. And I normally feel insecure about allowing people see me behave in the context of these occurrences because I don’t like being looked at as if I’m unstable. Which truthfully, in that moment, I am (laughs). But, I mean, unstable in the eyes of a judge. As much as I desire people to feel what I feel in that instant, I also recognize that the feeling is reserved especially for me.

So yea, everywhere I go, there is ALWAYS something that reminds me of another place and time where love that travelled far…had found me. Yet these places are not places I’ve been to in the past; no, no, no, they’re adventitious (meaning: extrinsic, another location). It brings me to tears sometimes when I think about this. But when I experience it, I feel this internal explosion of joy; I feel this surge of high vibration energy – a climatic build similar to an eruptive geyser. It feels as if everything within me lit up! – That “aha” feeling. And then behold; this big bang of revolutionary truth provides me with this affirmative ambiance that makes me feel confident, competent, and complete. The experience emotes this bold statement without uttering any words: you’re supposed to be here.

Sometimes, I come across certain smells or sounds and my mind flashes a glimpse of another place with a different set of circumstances (inclusive of time). The same thing happens when I see certain architectures, people, images, places and objects. Yet as I’m receiving the immediate image, a subtle image is projected in front of it. And what’s eerie is the sensation of familiarity.
My intuition assumes control for an instant, and presents me with a sense of knowing. I try to observe leniently so that I don’t tarnish the information because these subtle revelations are like whispers; they require delicate yet swift attention because they’re gone almost instantly as they’ve arrived.

And then, there’s lucid dreaming; and mine has become more vivid and more impressionable on my life; especially since my change in diet. Have you ever remembered a dream that occurred when you were a child, and then you’ve experienced that same dream as an adult? Or maybe, you’ve had a dream when you were a child, and you suddenly realized that you are reliving the dream? I’ve looked into dream psychology – a book written by Sigmund Freud. The nature of dreams are very complex, and deciphering their meanings require that you record as much information as possible because the “dream work” disguises the true meaning and the origin of the ideas. Sometimes, it can be something physiological. So, of course, our brains will produce an experience that’s similar to the physiological work. You may have a dream about a giant bee stinging your butt – not realizing that as you are sleep, your mind is trying to tell you that your butt is itching! Sometimes dreams can be based on strong desires from the previous day. A person can serve as an object of desire. Ever wanted to approach someone so bad that you had a dream that you actually approached them?! Your mind decided to live out the desire mentally so that you can feel satisfied. Sometimes, dreams can be influenced from external sources: the TV – as you’re dreaming, a book that was read prior to your dream, an argument or a party from next door, a dog barking, or even a loved one who’s intensely thinking  about you. And some dreams are a result of something futuristic. I remember living out quite a few dreams (since I’ve been in Kuwait even) that occurred months before I lived them. And then finally, some dreams go as deep as our ancestral roots. Again, we are the product of billions of years of evolution; our genes hold information inclusive our four-legged relatives; cold and warm blooded.

I’m quite sure you’ve experienced all types of dreams within the circumstances I’ve mentioned; whether you’re aware or not. But I also understand that some people are too busy to meditate on their dreams – to recall information that’s vital to their evolution….let alone…..their survival. (shrugs)

Anyway, I went to Bahrain this weekend. I definitely stepped outside my element for that trip. I drank. I screamed. I smiled. I partied. I danced….with a couple of women. I took one of them to my 2-bedroom, 1-kitchen, 3-bath, 1-living room hotel to spend the night. I watched TV. I spent loads of money – with a pinch of guilt. I mean, for 4 days and 3 nights, I basked in the ambiance of recklessness, escaped from my cotton padded, steel box of inhibition, and I became a bit more vulnerable to the forces of bad habits. I did things that I rarely ever do; not because I felt deserving – just because. I became someone else, and I had fun becoming that person. (chuckles) I’m suffering the consequences at the moment (sick). And through it all, it felt as if I did it all before….in that place….at a another time….meeting these very same people. It felt like a rerun. I basically celebrated my life. I held this confidence in my mind, and displayed it the form of a few smiles, because I had this intuitive sense of “knowing” that my life was going to get better…..with more challenges.

My first challenge: healing. My first new sense of success: I got promoted to Section Supervisor!

And it feels all so familiar. Have you ever felt like you knew what was going to happen before it happened? What do you do when God offers you a vision? And how do you know if it’s God…or if it’s preprogramming from your ego?

Just because you’re shown the truth, doesn’t obligate you to believe. You always have a choice.

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